Publishing my autobiography

It was several years ago when I took my first look at a blog, and because my thought process and the way in which I think may be a bit different, the thought of blogging seemed overwhelming. In my thinking, I couldn’t imagine sharing my personal thoughts so that the world could see them. At the time, I wasn’t writing daily and couldn’t quite grasp the thought of producing words based on my thoughts. I’ve never thought of myself as articulate, in fact, I know my attention deficit disorder often gets in the way.

The thought of blogging did in fact intrigue me, but it also sounded like way to much work, and if there’s nothing I despise more than anything is HAVING to write and making it a job. For me, writing has always been, or should I say, it has become a hobby of sorts, and a form of therapy.

I know I have always been a writer at heart, and it’s no secret to those who know me, rambling is a common thing, so I figure why not blog rambled thoughts?

But first, let’s talk book:

When my book was released last year, my publisher asked me to have someone take a picture of my opening the box to my newly published book so that they could use it for their own business. They had sent me a box of books so that I could share them with friends and family. The truth be known, I could do whatever I wished with the books, and when I pulled the completed hard covered book from the box, the final product of a near 9 year project, I was ecstatic when I saw the front cover. It looked perfect. It was just as I had thought it would be, And then I turned the book to see the back, and there it was……an error. What I wrote as the introduction was on the back cover, and what was on the back of the book was suppose to be part of the introduction. Where did I go wrong? But what was done was already done, so I decided to take a stab at a book I wasn’t 100% comfortable releasing, and here it sat in front of me as I tried to look past what I had written and obviously chosen for the book.

For the next several months I was busy with a book tour and signing copies at a slew of Barnes and Noble stores spread throughout California, as well a university and independent stores. I enjoyed the experience of a book release, and again, tried to push through what had already been done. As I thumbed through the pages of the book, I quickly realized there were other elements either within the book I wish I had not published, and those elements I wish I had taken the time to include.

In my public speaking gigs I most always talk about intuition and gut feelings. Women, every one of you has the answer to that probing question deep inside of you….it’s called intuition. It’s that voice of reason, that knowing it is the right or wrong choice. For men, that Voice you hear stirring inside is often called a gut feeling. For me, it’s that still, small voice inside that whispers to you, a voice I call God. We all have it, though often our title for that voice is something different, but believe me when I say, 9 times out of 10 it is right.

The initial draft of my book, Happy Endings and a New Beginning was written from a very vulgar and still bitter perspective. I did not mince words and wrote exactly what was on my mind. Mind you, I was living another life. I was unmarried, living a moderately gay life, with my mom nonetheless. Cut to four years later, I am married to a woman and my mother is now living with my wife and I.

So, over the years and a multitude of edits later, maybe 45 to 60 edits later, I had a final draft. A handful of people had read what I had written, and though they too knew the subject matter was sensitive, they all gave their ok to publish. The only problem was that I wasn’t completely comfortable with all I had written, even though there was a Happy Ending to the book.

Cut to, 10 months since publishing, and completely out of the blue, one day I contacted my publisher on a whim to inquire as to whether or not my manuscript could be edited post publication, and much to my surprise, I was given the greenlight that a post edit was indeed possible. So, I did a post edit, and I am ever so glad I did. I was able to remove some of the roughness in the pages, scenes I had questioned whether or not to share, some of the visual scenes within the book. As well, I have been able to add a conclusion with an update that reflects my current state. That said, I am happy with what is now published.

Thank you to those who have supported me along the way. I don’t know where I would be without your support.

God only knows what the future holds, but until that day when He calls me home, I will continue to serve Him every day.