a grunt to remember

This evening after taking my mother's dog out to go pee before bed I carried my mothers chihuahua terrier mix to her room. Mom got her well over 10 years ago, I believe she is 12 or 13.....they've been tight all these years, but after moms eventful summer of two hospitalization in 3 month the pooch kinda got use to me and I love her so much. She's very comfortable with me, but she is moms dogter (a four legged daughter), the spoiled child if you will....mom even refers to her as my sister.....go figure.

Tonight as I took and laid the dog onto the bed with mom, mom reached up for her As I placed Maggie into moms arms, I told mom I loved her dog so very much but that I loved her (being my mom) all the more. Of course, as mom always does, she told me she loved me right back. As I turned and walked away I gently squeezed moms leg in acknowledgment and as a replacement for a hug. It was as I turned my back to her when it happened. I imagine mom was trying to get comfortable with her dog, but as I was walking through the door and closing it behind me I heard mom grunt as if she had a rough day and may have been a little sore. I know the day wasn't easy as she did make tacos and tostadas for dinner (it's taco Tuesday), but I think it probably stemmed from the movement of the dog.

The similarities amongst she and her mother are uncanny. I remember her mother grunting as she got comfortable in bed. She would often take a deep breath and let out a big yawn before we parted ways. It wasn't as though she meant to, I mean, yawns just kinda come out of nowhere. That sweet grunt, oh how I miss it. I always knew grandma was exhausted, and it seemed the older she got the more tired she became.

I watch life as it rolls by. I helped care for my mom's mom and now, in a sense I am caring for my mom, though she does pretty well on her own. I see glimpses of my grandma through the lens that is my grandmother, her mother. There are times actions, movements, walks, talks, and yes, even grunts take me back to a time when life seemed simpler. I don't know if it is getting more and more difficult and busy than it was in the day or if it just seems that way. What I do know is that these sweet, sweet remembrances are always welcomed. I know I too have done the same.

I miss my grandma, but I see her in my surroundings.....she's everywhere. I wear her around my neck too. You see, I wear a vile of my grandmothers ashes around my neck. It hangs in the center of my chest, closest to my heart. I know she watches over me from above while my mother.......and my wife watch over me here on earth.

I am a blessed man. A man who is far more blessed than he deserves, and to God I owe all the Power and Glory.

Good night